A PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE

Some people think of philosophy as airy-fairy waffle that is of no interest to anybody but academics and pretentious buffoons. Nothing could be further from the truth. Each of us lives our life from an unconscious philosophy of life - a blueprint that we follow like Pavlov's dogs. Unless and until we make that philosophy conscious (insofar as that is possible!), and change it so that it serves us instead of defeating us, we will be the pawns of those who trained our current philosophy of life into us.

On this website you will find elements of philosophy which can begin the process of liberating you from the chains of an excessively restrictive philosophy of life. Increasingly in the future, you will also find elements of moral philosophy that are designed to tackle the post-liberation event with guidance on how to live a productive pro-social life, in harmony with others, and in just institutions, without which there cannot be a harmonious society.

Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) is the original and, it seems to me, the most thoroughgoing form of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, and can be approached as a short-term palliative when you are feeling overly-upset emotions; or it can be approached as a way of life, based on a profound philosophy which was drawn in part from the history of philosophy by Dr Albert Ellis.  It benefits from admixing with some other philosophies, which is tackled within Cognitive Emotive Narrative Therapy (CENT), which is explained elsewhere on this website.

Most helpful philosophies trace their roots back to the distant past, in the philosophies of ancient India, China, etc; and ancient Greece and Rome. The Buddhist view of how to avoid becoming overly upset - which dates back 2,500 years - is to avoid "attachment"; which in many ways is similar to the REBT concept of "demandingness", or insisting that things continue to be the (good) way that they are (or were), and that other things should not become the (bad) way that they could become. The Stoic view is that "control" is the problem. When we try to control the uncontrollable, we end up in emotional misery.  

The trick to Stoicism is to teach yourself how to distingusih the controllable from the uncontrollable aspects of you environment/life. Again, this is similar to the REBT view of "acceptance" of self, others and the world, just the way they are. It is also similar to the 'est' view of the importance of accepting 'what is so'.  

About 2,500 years ago, a young prince by the name of Siddhartha Gautama, at the age of 29 years, left his palatial home to wander the world in search of an answer to human suffering. 

He spent at least eight years in this mode, questioning existing wise individuals, and practicing various ascetic practices. Eventually he took up a form of meditation, and sat down one evening with the intention of not rising from meditation until he understood the nature of, and the solution to, the problem of human suffering. (He was not a religious seeker, but a seeker after personal and general human liberation from suffering). After many days of meditation, during which he became emaciated, he eventually reached ‘enlightenment’ – a mental state of liberation from suffering. He arose from his meditation, and went about the process of how to communicate his learning to others. This took some time. 

At first he tried non-verbal means of communicating what he had learned, but in time a verbal form of communication was developed. The Four Noble Truths that thus arose were as follows:

1. Life is suffering, for all humans. Life is difficult, frustrating and bedevilled by difficulty and problems (some but not all of the time).

2. The source of suffering is Desire. Suffering is caused by desiring the unattainable.

3. The solution to all human suffering is to give up desiring the unattainable. To give up wanting more and more. To give up the appetites of greed, envy, lust, and the resulting emotions of anger, anxiety, hurt, and so on.

4. Part of the road to mastering the giving up of desire is to focus upon the “emptiness” of life, in the process of meditation; and to focus upon generating compassion for others instead of generating comfort for ourselves.

This philosophy of the Buddha, as Siddhartha became known, has influenced many other systems of thought. It was transported to China where it blended with Taoism to form Chan Buddhism; and from there to Japan, where it became Zen Buddhism: one of the most elegant systems of mental liberation in my view.

Some of the Ancient Greek philosophers were also aware of the need to curb our appetites for excessive pleasure, especially Epicurus and his followers, who removed themselves from Athens and went into the countryside to live in a simple agricultural commune in order to escape the madness of city life.

The Stoics also saw the advantages of the simple life; the life of service rather than grasping; the importance of reconciliation with whatever is the case in one’s life; instead of demanding that life should always be easy.

Many of these philosophies influenced Albert Ellis, when, in 1955-62, he created Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT). REBT teaches that it is primarily excessive grasping, or demandingness, that results in every overly-upset emotion. However, unlike the Buddha, REBT thinks that desiring the attainable or the reasonable goal is valid and not likely to result in overly-upset emotions. Of course, dashed hopes of achieving some goal will almost inevitably result in disappointment, sadness and so on. These emotions are called, in REBT, “reasonable upsets”, or reasonably acceptable levels of upset when our goals are thwarted. REBT, unlike the Buddha, does not advocate that you give up your reasonable goals, or that you must focus your attention on compassion for others. It seems reasonable to assume that if you have a good balance of personal goals and social goals, and are realistic about your chances of achieving them, you will not overly upset yourself when you fail to achieve them, nor alienate yourself from your social group by anti-social behaviour. The "trick", in REBT, is to learn to distinguish between when you are being demanding and when you are only desiring something. Demandingness will almost always get you into trouble, emotionally and behavioural; while desiring that your reasonable goals be achieved will not normally overly upset you when they are thwarted.

If you are currently feeling angry, anxious or depressed, or experiencing behavioural problems in your relationships at home or at work, then you can get help by going here:

Face-to-face coaching, counselling and therapy services in Hebden Bridge and Halifax, West Yorkshire, UK.

Or:

Long-distance coaching, counselling and therapy services, anywhere in the world, over the telephone system, or over the internet.

Or telephone Jim Byrne on 01422 847 882 (from inside the UK); or on 44 1422 847 882 (from outside the UK).

Or email Jim Byrne at ABC Coaching and Counselling Services.

Finally, if you want to see an inspiring piece of video that could help to change your attitude towards life, then please take a look at The Simple Truth.

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