The Counselling Blog: A counsellor writes about:

My book about The Childhood of Albert Ellis; CENT counselling and spirituality - the Buddhist component; Reviewing the principles of CENT counselling; and: CENT couples therapy...

Copyright (c) Jim Byrne, 2013

No.46: Monday 20^th May 2013 

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Attachment-based approaches to counselling maintain that the early childhood experiences of the client have a huge impact on the shape of their adult lives.  "My approach to understanding emotional life is a systemic one.  I argue that human beings are open systems permeated by other people as well as by plants and air and water.  We are shaped by other people as well as by what we breathe and eat.  Both our physiological systems and our mental systems are developed in relationship with other people - and this happens most intensely and leaves the biggest mark in infancy".  For this reason, CENT counselling is very interested in what happened to you in your childhood.

Quotation from: Sue Gerhardt (2004) Why Love Matters: How affection shapes a baby's brain.  London: Routledge.  Page 10.  (71)

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1. Introduction

Last week I began to write a new book - on The Childhood of Albert Ellis - which looks at the ways in which the childhood suffering of Poor Little Albert maps towards certain aspects of his later philosophy of therapy.  Most important among those elements is his development of an ‘insecure attachment' to his mother, which maps towards his later denial that anybody needs to be loved.

...More...On The Childhood of Albert Ellis...***

Saturday was a busy day, but yesterday, we had our usual Sunday (secular) Sabbath, and went for a long walk in the countryside.  The weather was warm and sunny, and we got some nice flowers from the Alpine flower centre in Heptonstall.  We also watched a very strange film which seems to have been based on the life of Lafayette Ron Hubbard (or somebody of similar background!) - which helped me to see the importance of anchoring our theories of emotional healing to the most reliable and tested research traditions that preceded us, so we do not stray into risky territory of over-reliance on intuitions and hunches ungrounded in deep education in the theory and practice of the field.

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Telling your life story in a more empowering way is one of the major functions of narrative therapy: "Some psychoanalytic theorists have suggested that one of the purposes of (counselling and) therapy is to enable the client to retell their life story in a more satisfactory and coherent manner..."

John McLeod, An Introduction to Counselling, 2003. Page 241. (72)

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2. Part 7: Spirituality in Counselling: The Buddhist component

I have already emphasized that the CENT approach to spirituality is completely secular.  We do draw upon Buddhist and Stoic philosophy for elements of our theory, but neither of those traditions emphasized the existence of a god, or the need to seek help from a god or gods. 

From Buddhism we take:

1. The need for a system of moral commitments, such as: avoiding harming others; avoiding intoxicants; avoiding sexual impropriety; and some others;

2. The need for mental training, including meditation, Koan training, and moment to moment mindfulness;

3. The need to engage in moral forms of work (right livelihood); moral forms of speech (right speech); and moral and prudent action (right action);

4. To resist the craving for ‘things'; and to detach from unrealistic or unreasonable desires (such as for fame or wealth); And:

5. To aim for peacefulness, mindfulness, and compassionate wisdom.

6. To aim for ‘enlightenment', by recognizing that ‘life is difficult' for most people much of the time; that life involves both difficulty and non-difficulty; and that most of our difficulties fall away when we accept life just the way it is today, right this moment - instead of desiring or demanding that it be different from the way it is.

One way to implement these aims is to practice daily meditation; to read books on Zen Buddhism, like Alan Watts (‘The Way of Zen'), or Shunryu Suzuki's ‘Zen Mind, Beginners Mind'; and to practice loving kindness in our relationships with others - (which does not preclude the possible action of defending our interests and needs when necessary; or of asserting our rights appropriately!)

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Another way is to teach yourself the Six Windows Model of CENT.***

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The full, seven-part paper on spirituality in counselling can be found here: ‘CENT Counselling and Spirituality'.***

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Self esteem is important, in counselling and in life, but it is also a two-edged sword. Dave Wilmot, speaking about the Reality Therapy approach to counselling, says this: "Whereas at one time I felt quite sure that what people were about was maximizing human growth potential, I now think that (that is the payback) you get for what I call the drive towards raising your self-esteem, the drive towards being seen and acknowledged as being a significant person - both to have that feeling internally for yourself and for it to be recognized amongst others..."  CENT counselling theory goes along with this idea of the importance of self esteem, and social recognition, to some extent; however, beyond a certain point it could become mere egotism.  Paradoxically, we need to be able to esteem ourselves, and also to recognize that, in a special (Zen) sense, we don't really exist (apart from being physical organisms with driving stories)!

Wilmot quote from: Brigid Proctor, Counselling Shop: An Introduction to the Theories and Techniques of Ten Approaches to Counselling. Page 146. (75).

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3. The core principles of CENT counselling and therapy

So far we have reviewed the first eleven out of 19 core principles of Cognitive Emotive Narrative Therapy (CENT); so here is the twenfth:

Twelfth: We mainly operate from one of three so-called 'ego states', or 'ways of being' (as described in Transactional Analysis [TA]). These are:

(P) Parent ego state, when we think, feel and behave just like some parent figure from our past experience;

(A) Adult, which is the logical, reasonably cool and rational, computing part of the brain-mind. And:

(C) Child ego state, which is characterized by our thinking, feeling and behaving just like we once did as a young child.

...To learn more about the ego state model, take a look at my ‘What is Transactional Analysis' page.***

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A good counsellor should have training and experience in helping clients to solve their own emotional, behavioural and relationship problems: "Counselling denotes a professional relationship between a trained counsellor and a client.  This relationship is usually person-to-person, although it may sometimes involve more than two people.  It is designed to help clients to understand and clarify their views of their life-space, and to learn to reach their self-determined goals through meaningful, well-informed choices and through resolution of problems of an emotional or interpersonal nature". 

Burks and Steffire, 1979. Quoted in McLeod, 2003, Introduction to Counselling, page 7. (76)

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4. The principles of CENT couples therapy

Over the past few weeks, we have looked at principles 1-9 of my 18 principles of couples therapy (or principles of happy couple relationships).  Today I will present number ten:

Principle 10. Couples are either in (1) a state of occasional dissatisfaction (or ‘reasonable upset); (2) a state of disturbance (or over-upset); or (3) are experiencing an emerging incompatibility.  Dissatisfaction is normal some but not all of the time: i.e. occasional sadness, disappointment, frustration, etc.  Disturbance is due to irrational beliefs interacting with noxious activating events: e.g. anger, rage, hostility, depression, intense jealousy, etc.  And emerging incompatibilities mean you no longer seem to have an adequate basis for the continuation of your relationship.

However, regarding incompatibility, it is important to know about what Dr Erich Fromm said about incompatibility.  He argued, in The Art of Loving, that perfect compatibility is impossible, and that seeking perfect compatibility is a good way to avoid intimate relationships totally.  Rather we should seek to establish relationships with individuals with whom we are broadly compatible, and to learn to tolerate the ways in which they deviate from perfect compatibility - their imperfections of fit with our values/goals/beliefs/expectations.

...For further information on Couples Therapy, see my ‘What is Couples Therapy?' page.***

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The CBT approach to counselling came out of the field of Behaviour Therapy, which sees the client as being shaped or determined by their environment.  "The Behavioural model is a very deterministic one.  The individual may think that s/he is free to decide on a particular course of action, but in fact s/he is just behaving as s/he has been trained to.  What s/he ‘chooses' to do at any particular point in time is a direct result of past environmental experiences which have themselves occurred in a fairly haphazard sort of way.  So the individual is just the product of his past experiences".  CENT counselling does not accept this over-emphasis on the environment; nor the (sometimes extreme) REBT over-emphasis on the innate qualities of the individual.  We see the ‘individual ego' as a dialectical social construct, arising out of the interaction of the physical individual (with innate qualities) and the cultural environment (of mother, father, etc).

Page 62: Brigid Proctor, Counselling Shop: An introduction to the Theories and Techniques of Ten Approaches to Counselling. (77).

See my papers entitled

‘What is CENT?'***; 

and

‘The Social Individual'***

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That's all for this week.

Best wishes,

The Counselling Blog: A counsellor writes about:

A call for a new approach to ‘mental disorders' - BPS - DSM 5; CENT counselling and spirituality; Reviewing the principles of CENT counselling; and: CENT couples therapy...

Copyright (c) Jim Byrne, 2013

No.45: Monday 13^th May 2013 

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1. How do we deal with emotional wellbeing?

Renata and I had a busy week last week, and we reached Friday evening in need of a switch-off and wind down experience - so we reached for a DVD.  We chose a film from 2009, based on the true story of a journalist and a ‘mentally unwell' dropout from the Julliard School of music.  Entitled ‘The Soloist', and starring Jamie Foxx and Robert Downey Jr, the film features a lot of Beethoven an some Bach music, played on a cello, which is, in itself, moving.  I was not expecting much from this film, but I was pleasantly surprised.  It seemed to deal sensitively with difficult problems of homelessness and emotional distress (‘mental health' problems, in the medical vernacular).  See two newspaper reviews below:

1. The Guardian review: http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2009/sep/25/the-soloist-review

2. The telegraph review: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/filmreviews/6227806/The-Soloist-review.html

I found the film so moving that I felt like apologizing to Hollywood for - some weeks back - suggesting that those filmmakers never show the 140 million Americans who live below the poverty line.  This film (by a British director) was different.  However, it was probably just the exception that proves the rule: that America likes to hide the ugly reality of American poverty and inequality - largely produced by neo-liberal economic policy advocated by Hayek and implemented by Regan onwards.

I thought the film was very good, and that it raised a very interesting idea of friendship as a source of balm for people with emotional distress problems - (read ‘schizophrenia' in medical language).

However, on Sunday, Renata brought in The Observer newspaper, and I quickly spotted the article on the bottom right hand corner of the front page: "Call for new approach to ‘mental disorders'.", it announced.

It begins like this: "There is no scientific evidence that psychiatric diagnoses such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder are valid or useful, according to the leading body representing Britain's clinical psychologists". 

The British Psychological Society's division of clinical psychology "...will tomorrow issue a statement declaring that, given the lack of evidence, it is time for a ‘paradigm shift' in how the issues of mental health are understood".

In the process, the BPS casts serious doubt on the psychiatrists' biomedical model of mental distress, for which there are no biomarkers, nor any significant evidence whatsoever.  (Most people do not know that the so-called ‘Diagnostic and Statistical Manual', DSM-5, is not based on any statistics whatsoever.  It is based on a system of ‘voting' for particular made-up disorders, by a committee of blokes and birds!)

Read the fuller article by the same author - Jamie Doward - at the Observer online: http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2013/may/12/medicine-dsm5-row-does-mental-illness-exist

Also on page 11 of this week's Observer, I found an article by Oliver James, a doctor of psychology, who has written a lot about the link between society and emotional distress.  Problems in families of origin are a big part of the causes of emotional distress.  According to Dr James: "...13 studies find that more than half of schizophrenics suffered childhood abuse.  Another review of 23 studies shows that schizophrenics are at least three times more likely to have been abused than non-schizophrenics.  It is becoming apparent that abuse is the major cause of psychoses.  It is also all too clear that the medical model is bust".

James goes on to argue that early childhood experience combined with later experience of adversity is a much better explanation for emotional distress and that poverty in adulthood is positively correlated to emotional distress and breakdown. And, he points out, Britain and American have twice as much ‘mental illness' as mainland Europe, because of the economic policies initiated by Thatcher and Reagan.

"Forget about genes", he advises.  "We would halve the amount of emotional distress in this country if we had the more equal, relatively cohesive, less debt-ridden political economics of our European neighbours".

See the whole statement by Oliver James here, following a defence of the psychiatric medical model by Simon Wessely: http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2013/may/12/dsm-5-conspiracy-laughable

The Counselling Blog: A counsellor writes about:

Work/Life balance; The childhood of Albert Ellis; CENT counselling and spirituality; Reviewing the principles of CENT counselling; and: CENT couples therapy...

Copyright (c) Jim Byrne, 2013

No.44: Monday 6^th May 2013 

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1. Introduction

It is important for counsellors and coaches to lead a balanced life; to have a good balance of work, rest and play, in order to recharge their batteries for their demanding work with their clients.

This weekend, on Saturday, Renata and I had a nice lunch in The Bear, in Todmorden.  High quality organic salad platter - delightful!  We than went to the gardening centre in Walsden, and bought some flowers and a window box.  On Sunday, our secular Sabbath, we walked through Hardcastle Crags, to Gibson Mill, for a nice, light lunch.

And now back to work.  I am working on updating my main book on Cognitive Emotive Narrative Therapy; and trying to finish off the editing and polishing of my anger book.  I am also pecking away at my project for 24^th July - the 6^th anniversary of the death of Dr Albert Ellis: which deals with The Childhood of Albert Ellis***.  And, I have a few counselling clients this week, and a few supervisees.

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Narrative counselling deals with buried stories of experiences, plus stories about the present and future: The concept of ‘narrative' in Narrative Therapy "...refers to self-stories, the multiply-stranded and often inconsistent images, thoughts and conceptualizations of their past, present and future, and of the world within which experience takes place, which  people continually reinforce, expand, revise and explore".

Martin Payne (2007) Narrative therapy: in Dryden's Handbook of Individual Therapy, page 404. (53)

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2. Spirituality in CENT counselling

Part 5

I have said that the CENT approach to spirituality is a secular one, informed by Buddhism, mainly Zen; but also by some other wisdom traditions, such as Stoicism; and some modern approaches to life, including Positive Psychology - especially the development of personal strengths in line with the wisdom of many societies over long periods of history.

In the absence of a god, or a priestly caste, what does spirituality mean, in a nutshell?  According to Philip Sheldrake: "...all approaches to ‘spirituality', including contemporary secular ones, imply what might be called ‘beliefs about life', (and) the quest for an effective world-view". (Page 7). In other words, spirituality involves the quest for personal wisdom as a guide to living the good life.

He goes on to say that spirituality involves adopting certain values - like moral guides - and striving to live a principled lifestyle, as opposed to the mere pragmatic pursuit of self interest alone.  And for me, this is one of the central points.  It is not possible to live a spiritual life which is also an amoral or immoral one.  The essence of ‘the sacred' is respect for the vulnerability of the fleshy body and the fearful mind of the average human being.  Or, to put it in one word: compassion!

Sheldrake describes how we have shifted ground in the West, from being religious to wanting to have some kind of sense of being ‘spiritual'.  This involves the adoption of values and practices which point us towards how to live a meaningful life. 

One study, by David Hay, conducted in the UK between 1987 and 2000, "...showed that the proportion of people who did not attend a place of worship yet believed in a spiritual reality' increased from 29 per cent to 55 per cent". (Page 7, Sheldrake). A second study, by Heelas and Woodhead, looked at attitudes towards religion and spirituality in the north-west of England.  These authors concluded that, "...what they called ‘holistic spirituality' was replacing religion in a kind of evolutionary development because it was a better fit with contemporary needs".  Sheldrake, page 7).

The emphasis in the West on individualism and the downgrading of social institutions and social enterprises has placed a great strain of loneliness and isolation on the mind of the so-called individual, who is in truth a social being.  (See my paper on The social roots of the individual***).  The burgeoning interest in spirituality is a craving for a sense of connection, to all other humans and to all of life.  It may suit the economic interests of capitalism to fragment families and communities, but it serves the human soul-heart-mind to seek reunification in a spiritual practice and a set of socially responsible values, such as charity, compassion, kindness, and social care.

...end of part 3...

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Counselling helps people to solve their problems of daily living: Professional counselling psychologists do not assume that their clients are suffering from some kind of ‘pathology', but rather from the ordinary human difficulties that are "part and parcel of the human condition": "At the heart of this philosophy is a belief that the therapeutic relationship involves working towards an authentic meeting of equals and has the intention of enhancing the self-determination and fulfilment of potential of the person in the client role".

Strawbridge and Woolfe, 2003, Counselling Psychology in Context, page 11. (55)

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3. The core principles of CENT counselling and therapy

The tenth principle of cognitive Emotive Narrative Therapy (CENT) is as follows:

Tenth: CENT theory represents the new born baby as containing two fundamental potentials: to develop pro-social and caring attitudes; and to develop anti-social and egotistical attitudes. Part of the process of socialization is to ensure that the new person mainly develops their 'good side' (or what the Native American Cherokee people called the 'good wolf' and Freud called ‘Eros') through the moral teachings of their parents, teachers and others; and that their 'bad wolf' (or ‘thanatos' - or ‘death urge') - is constrained and contained. (It cannot ever be totally or permanently eliminated. We each contain the capacity for significant levels of 'evil' to the ends of our days!) But the happy functioning of social animals depends upon the extent to which we develop our pro-social, moral virtues, and resist our anti-social, immoral or amoral vices. Some clients are clearly operating mainly from 'good wolf' and some are significantly operating from 'bad wolf'. That latter client group needs coaching in moral philosophy; and encouragement to operate mainly from 'good wolf', for both the sake of their community and the sake of their own happiness.

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Counsellors must be clear that early childhood experiences are powerful influences on the shape of our personality and our emotional functioning for the rest of our lives: "In my work as a clinical psychologist it has become increasingly clear to me that even though personality patterns may be based in genetic or innate conditions, they are shaped, to an equal degree, by our personal life and experiences, with childhood and early experiences as particularly crucial sources of influence". 

Susan Hart (2011) The Impact of Attachment.  New York: W.W. Norton and Company.  Page xi.  (56)

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4. The principles of CENT couples therapy

The ninth principle of couples therapy, as practiced in CENT counselling, is this:

9.  Do you want to be ‘right', or do you want to be ‘happy'.  Choose!  In most cases you will have to choose. It is very rare that you will be able to be consistently ‘right' - in your disputes with your partner - and also experience long-term happiness.  Why is this so?  Because, when I say ‘I am right', I also imply (very often) that ‘You are wrong!'  And most people are not willing to be cast in the role of "being wrong".  (Doing a wrong thing is different from "being wrong"!)  If you make your partner "wrong", they will not want to "play with you"!  (Sometimes you might have good reasons to support your argument, and it might be important to push your point, respectfully but assertively; but all the time? Certainly not!)

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A good counselling experience should be flexible and allow the client to pursue their goals: "The term ‘counselling' includes work with individuals and with relationships, which may be developmental, crisis support, psychotherapeutic, guiding or problem solving ... The task of counselling is to give the client an opportunity to explore, discover and clarify ways of living more satisfyingly and resourcefully". 

BAC, 1984, cited in McLeod, 2003. (57)

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That's all for this week.

Best wishes,

The Counselling Blog: A counsellor writes about:

The childhood of Albert Ellis; CENT Counselling and spirituality; Reviewing the principles of CENT counselling; and: CENT couples therapy...

Copyright (c) Jim Byrne, 2013

No.43: Monday 29^th April 2013 

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1. Introduction

This weekend, we had a family event in Manchester.  On the Saturday, we went to Waterstone's bookshop, and I found a collection of poems by T.S. Eliot, which includes ‘The Wasteland' and ‘The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock'.  I enjoyed Prufrock, and excerpted a few of the opening lines for my page on ‘Stories of Childhood for Counsellors and Therapists'.***

I also acquired a new book on the psychology of the self - entitled The Self Illusion: Who do you think you are? by Bruce Hood - which I hope to use to update my thoughts about the CENT theory of the self. 

See CENT Paper No.9: The ‘Individual' and its Social Relationships - The CENT Perspective.***

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Narrative counselling deals with buried stories of experiences, plus stories about the present and future: The concept ‘narrative' in Narrative Therapy "...refers to self-stories, the multiply-stranded and often inconsistent images, thoughts and conceptualizations of their past, present and future, and of the world within which experience takes place, which  people continually reinforce, expand, revise and explore".

Martin Payne (2007) Narrative therapy: in Dryden's Handbook of Individual Therapy, page 404. (53)

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2. The childhood of Albert Ellis

Beginning today, I hope to review the early chapters of the autobiography of Dr Albert Ellis - entitled All Out! - probably up to Chapter 3D, which is to say, 162 pages, mainly covering his childhood - including his neglectful parents and his hospitalization.  This is likely to take me a few weeks, including doing some background reading on the impact of poor attachment on others.

In an open letter to Dr Ellis, in 2011, I wrote this:

"...when you met and got involved with, and then married, Debbie Joffe-Ellis, I realized that you had a very different kind of relationship with her than you had with anybody else that I knew of.  You seemed to be much more secure in that relationship.  Then it came back to me that you had neglectful parents, and that you seem to have developed an avoidant attachment style with them.  And your attachment style, in most of your publicly available encounters with others, on video and audio tape, seems to me to be cool, distant and somewhat avoidant.

"A couple of years ago (in 2008 or ‘09) I began to study the works of Dr John Bowlby and other attachment theorists, including Dr David Wallin.  This helped me to see that what I was trying to work on, in my two ‘training analyses' - in CENT Papers No.4[1] and No.10[2] - was my attachment style, in relation to my mother, father and family, peers, and ultimately, my clients".

I now want to explore the ways in which Albert Ellis's relationships with his neglectful parents affected his attachment style, and his social orientation in life; and the ways in which this skewed his therapeutic philosophy, away from the importance of love and affection in all significant relationships.

Counselling helps people to solve their problems of daily living: Professional counselling psychologists do not assume that their clients are suffering from some kind of ‘pathology', but rather from the ordinary human difficulties that are "part and parcel of the human condition": "At the heart of this philosophy is a belief that the therapeutic relationship involves working towards an authentic meeting of equals and has the intention of enhancing the self-determination and fulfilment of potential of the person in the client role".

Strawbridge and Woolfe, 2003, Counselling Psychology in Context, page 11. (55)

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3. Spirituality in CENT counselling

Continuing my review of Philip Sheldrake's book, Spirituality: A very short introduction:

I have already said that the CENT perspective on spirituality is secular, and related to the Buddhist (especially Zen) and the Stoic traditions.  Thus there are paradigms in the world of spirituality, and as in science or philosophy, those paradigms see their subject differently; each paradigm differing from the other in terms of ‘angle of orientation', ‘framing' of the subject, etc.  Spiritual traditions are group mindsets and group ideologies.  They are not better or worse because of this fact - they are simply different, each from the other.

The CENT perspective seeks to be integrative, in the sense of integrating the Buddhist and Stoic paradigms; and also adding in anything else which seems helpful, and compatible with those perspectives: such as the Positive Psychology perspective.

According to Sheldrake: "... ‘spirituality' has become an alternative way of exploring the deepest self and the ultimate purpose of life.  Increasingly, the spiritual quest has moved away from outer-directed authority to inner-directed experience which is seen as more reliable.  This subjectivist turn in Western culture has created a diverse approach to spiritual experience and practice.  For example, spirituality often draws from different religious traditions as well as from popular psychology.  However, some commentators, such as Jeremy Carrette, are sceptical about these developments, suggesting that the contemporary enthusiasm for ‘spirituality' is merely another offshoot of consumerism". (Pages 6-7).

Here are some of my observations on this statement:

1. "The deepest self" is a problematic concept.  Exploring ‘myself' could involve working through my personal history, using psychological processes; but I would never advocate that anybody try to find "their deepest self".  The self is constructed by interpersonal experience, involving actions and language, which weave a sense of self; or self concept - over the course of development time.  This can be distorted by less than ideal developmental experiences, and a person can seek to use psychological and spiritual traditions to sort out a ‘better narrative' of ‘who I am' and what my life is about.

2. "The ultimate purpose of life" is also a problematic concept.  Existential philosophers often point to the ‘meaninglessness' of life; while many religious traditions ascribe a specific meaning to the journey through life.  The truth may lie halfway between these two positions.  For examples, we could say:

(a) Life is both meaningless (sometimes) and meaningful (sometimes); or:

(b) Life is neither meaningless nor meaningful, as these are mere linguistic concepts, with no physical referents.

The "ultimate purpose" for me might be to become a fully integrated person, who enjoys life to the full, and makes his best possible contribution to the world in which I live.  That "ultimate purpose" would not be shared by a hedonist, or a religionist.  So we each, group by group; or community by community; or society by society: create our own meanings - the core of which will often be some statement of ‘value in action', or hope for the future; or, perhaps, some way of living happily in the present moment.  And then, again, in Martin Seligman's view, the meaningful life "...has one additional feature: using your signature (or special, personal) strengths in the service of something larger than you are". (Page 249 - Authentic Happiness).  And that "something larger" does not have to be a god.  In Buddhism it is the liberation of all sentient beings from suffering.  The Buddhist monk takes on that challenge, to liberate everybody from mental suffering! 

3. Then there is this statement in the Sheldrake quote, above: "...the spiritual quest has moved away from outer-directed authority to inner-directed experience which is seen as more reliable".  To the extent that this means "people are no longer willing to be dictated to by priests", that seems to be a good development.  However, to the extent that it could mean "every individual making up their own mind" about the nature of life, without the need to consider existing traditions, then that seems like a decidedly backward step, since in the arts and sciences, progress most often involves building upon, and surpassing, the pre-existing traditions.

4. The idea that "...the contemporary enthusiasm for ‘spirituality' is merely another offshoot of consumerism" seems to me to be a cynical view.  Some of the enthusiasm for spirituality is most likely expressing a deeply felt need for a sense of a higher meaning to life than consumerism; and some of it might be merely a way of expressing a ‘cool lifestyle'.  But no matter how large the latter ‘lifestyle' group might be, that does not detract from the fact that many humans, if not most humans, seem to have a hunger for some kind of transcendent experience - which the Soviet Union ignored to its very great cost.  People will have their sense of ‘the divine', or the transcendent, regardless of how powerful the political forces are that try to suppress it.

...More next week...

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Counsellors must be clear that early childhood experiences are powerful influences on the shape of our personality and our emotional functioning for the rest of our lives: "In my work as a clinical psychologist it has become increasingly clear to me that even though personality patterns may be based in genetic or innate conditions, they are shaped, to an equal degree, by our personal life and experiences, with childhood and early experiences as particularly crucial sources of influence". 

Susan Hart (2011) The Impact of Attachment.  New York: W.W. Norton and Company.  Page xi.  (56)

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4. The core principles of CENT counselling and therapy

Today I want to review the ninth principle of Cognitive Emotive Narrative Therapy (CENT):

Ninth: From the Object Relations school, CENT takes the view that the first three phases of development of childhood can be disrupted, between birth and about the age of six years - or the first four subphases from birth to age three - resulting in specific forms of relationship dysfunction in later life. The solution to these problems tend to include a mixture of 'being with' the client in relationship; 'holding' the relationship in a suitable dialogue; helping them to make conscious and then process their un-experienced or resisted emotions; providing analysis and models as cognitive-emotive ways forward; and providing a ‘secure base' for the client, so they can learn how to have a secure relationship, perhaps for the first time.

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There is no "unified theory" of counselling and therapy in use today: "Probably the three main schools that influence contemporary individual counselling and therapy theory and practice are the psychodynamic school, the humanistic-existential school, and the cognitive-behavioural school".  CENT incorporates the most useful aspects of all three of these theories into one, combined with Attachment Theory and moral philosophy, Zen Buddhism, Transactional Analysis (TA), and other philosophies.

Richard Nelson-Jones, 2001, Theory and Practice of Counselling and Therapy, page 19. (60)

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5. The principles of CENT couples therapy

In our review of the core principles of CENT couples therapy, we have now reached the eighth principle:

8.  In a marriage, because it involves two individuals, it is not sensible to expect to be centre stage more than 50% of the time, since the other person also desires to be centre stage for their 50%!  How much of the time do you try to be centre stage?  How good are you at being "the audience" for your partner?  How could you improve your democratic functioning in this area of your life?  (This, of course includes the idea that you are entitled to be centre stage for your full 50% of the time, and it is your responsibility to work at getting that balance for yourself, but not exceeding it!)

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Multimodal and integrative approaches to (attachment) counselling are likely to prove more effective than those that emphasize one or other modality - thinking, feeling, acting, hearing, seeing, touching, or speaking.  "More than a hundred years ago, Freud argued that the brain develops through experience, and that it may change as a result of psychotherapy; ever since, various approaches to psychotherapy (and counselling) have competed, each laying claim to being the most effective.  It would, however, be more productive to develop multimodal intervention forms based on principles that incorporate neurobiological growth, regulation, and integration".

Susan Hart (2011) The Impact of Attachment.  New York: W.W. Norton and Company.  Page 312.  (61)

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That's all for this week.

Best wishes,

[1] Byrne, J. (2009) A journey through models of mind. The story of my personal origins. CENT Paper No.4.  Hebden Bridge: The Institute for CENT. Available online: http://www.abc-counselling.com/id166.html.

[2] Byrne, J. (2010) The story of relationship: Or coming to terms with my mother (and father). CENT Paper No.10. Hebden Bridge: The Institute for CENT. Available online: http://www.abc-counselling.com/id202.html.

The Counselling Blog: A counsellor writes about:

Piano music and emotional memories of childhood; The imperfections of science and other forms of research; New videos on counselling and anger management; CENT Counselling and spirituality; Reviewing the principles of CENT counselling; and: CENT couples therapy...

Copyright (c) Jim Byrne, 2013

No.42: Monday 22^nd April 2013 

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Attachment relationships in counselling facilitate client change and growth: "Very much as the original attachment relationship(s) (with mother and father) allowed the child to develop, it is ultimately the new relationship of attachment with the (counsellor) that allows the (client) to change. To paraphrase Bowlby (1988), such a relationship provides a secure base that enables the (client) to take the risk of feeling what s/he is not supposed to feel and knowing what s/he is not supposed to know".

Dr David Wallin, Attachment in Psychotherapy, 2007, page 3. (46)

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1. Introduction

Last Friday, 19^th April, Renata and I went to listen to Anthony Goldstone's piano recital, at the Waterfront Hall, Hebden Bridge, at 8.00pm.  He played some divine Beethoven, Schubert and Tchaikovsky before the interval.  (Programme link.***).  After the interval, this remarkable pianist performed Mussorgsky's ‘Pictures from an Exhibition', going back to the composer's (more peasant influenced) original manuscript, instead of the more popular re-arrangement by Rimsky Korsakov's (which is more bourgeois, and sweetened).

Something about this performance was so moving that it initiated within me the complete rethinking and rewriting one of my recent manuscripts, which I am hoping to revise over the summer.  See Stories of Childhood for Therapists.*** for some introductory ideas.

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A good counsellor will help you to learn more about your own emotions: "All of us have something to learn about our emotions.  Some of us grow up with a high level of emotional literacy, but I believe that few are as smart in the area of emotions as they should be.  We all make emotional mistakes, and because of that, we can benefit from some form of Emotional Literacy training.

Claude Steiner, Achieving Emotional Literacy, page 11.  (48)

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2. The imperfections of science and other forms of research

Positivistic sciencists, who are a form of secular religion, like to mislead us into believing in the infallibility of scientific research.  On the other hand, I had characterised scientific research as ‘blokes and birds trying to make sense of stuff'.  (See my ‘What is Research' page.***)

I have probably been overly generous in describing science and other academic approaches to research as ‘blokes and birds trying to make sense of stuff'.  That is only the best case scenario.  In the worst case scenario, Marx's words apply: "The scientists are the prize-fighters of capitalism", Marks averred; and this may often be the case.  It is certainly true that many psychiatrists have added their names to ‘academic papers' they did not write, and sometimes did not even see, in exchange for a fee.  The papers were written in-house by hacks in pharmaceutical companies, lauding some questionable drug, so that it would sell well and make fat profits for the company (regardless of the safety implications).

So, sometimes people in positions of responsibility use ‘good research' to justify their actions; and sometimes they manufacture ‘bad research' in order to justify their actions.  But very often the agenda is simply to justify an action which is going to be taken anyway, for reasons of ideological conviction.

An interesting case in point was presented in The Guardian newspaper (UK), yesterday (Friday 19th April 2013).  An article entitled: ‘The error that could subvert George Osborne's austerity programme', by Charles Arthur and Phillip Inman, appeared on page 26.

...continued...***

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See also my page on ‘Counselling Research'.***

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Narrative counselling is the most post-modern of counselling systems: "The idea of a narrative approach (to counselling) refers to a significant movement within the social and health sciences in recent years... The concept of narrative (or the stories of individual lives - JB) provides a succinct and yet powerful means of reminding ourselves of our human qualities, and bringing emphasis to these qualities in our thinking and practice." CENT counselling - being post-postmodern - explores the aspects of a client's narrative which are causing them their emotional and behavioural problems.  But we do not undermine the positive aspects - especially the good, moral aspects - of the client's cultural narratives, which we support. 

Quotation above from: John McLeod, Counselling Skill, 2007, pages 2-3. (49)

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3. Links to recent videos

In the past week, I made a couple of new video clips. Here are the links to YouTube:

(1) The paradoxes and mysteries of counselling and therapy.***

(2) How to control your anger.***

There are now 50 video clips on my page at YouTube: to review them, please go to ABCCoaching.***

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Narrative counsellors help their clients to develop an interpretive story about some aspect of the client's life, which empowers the client to integrate and complete previously undigested experiences: "Whereas Freud and other early psychoanalytic therapists believed that free association and dream analysis were unearthing evidence about early childhood conflicts that actually occurred, Spence points out that it is seldom possible to verify in an objective sense whether or not these childhood events took place.  He suggests that what therapists do is to help the client to arrive at a narrative truth, a story that makes sense and has significant correspondence with the historical data that are available". 

John McLeod, An Introduction to Counselling.  2003.  Page 230. (51)

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4. Spirituality in CENT counselling

The concept of spirituality has evolved to include both the religious and the non-religious approaches to integrating a life into a meaningful, purposeful and moral whole.  According to Philip Sheldrake: "Spirituality concerns what is holistic - that is, a fully integrated approach to life. ... Thus, rather than being simply one element among others in human existence, ‘the spiritual' is best understood as the integrating factor - ‘life as a whole'." (Page 5, Spirituality: A very short introduction). 

It's about seeking meaning and purpose in life, plus "an understanding of human development and personality development".  (Sheldrake: page 5). This transcends the purely material aspects of life, and involves values and virtues.

It involves being self-reflective, living the ‘examined life' recommended by Plato/Socrates.  It involves finding happiness and contentment in life, and thriving rather than merely existing.  Again, according to Sheldrake, spirituality involves "a sense of ultimate values" in contrast to a life of pragmatic relating to things.  Those kinds of values are examined in the writings of Martin Seligman and some of the other Positive Psychologists; and include: Wisdom and knowledge; courage; love and humanity; justice; temperance; and transcendence.  I, personally, would add: kindness, charity, compassion.  And transcendence means rising above the hum-drum concerns of our little egos, to reach for an appreciation of all of nature as "it"; and each of use as just a miniscule part of "it". 

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Counselling Goals 3 - Managing Complex Problems:

"Though some problems are limited, many other problems can be larger and more complex than specific situations within them.  Take the example of a client, with children, who is going through a divorce.  Here dimensions of the problem might include obtaining a just divorce settlement, maintaining self-esteem, relationships with children, a possible move of home, and learning to live as a single adult again".

From: Richard Nelson-Jones, 2002, Essential Counselling and Therapy Skills: The skilled client model. London: Sage Publications.  Pages 6-7. (52)

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5. The core principles of CENT counselling and therapy

So far in the current series of posts, I have reviewed the first seven principles of Cognitive Emotive Narrative Therapy (CENT) - the system of counselling and therapy developed by me since 2007, to take forward the best of Albert Ellis's ideas, combined with elements of Transactional Analysis (TA), Attachment theory, Moral philosophy, and various other systems.  Here is the next principle:

Eighth: CENT starts from the assumption that we are primarily social animals, and not solitary individuals. We are social to our very roots, especially from the moment of parturition, when we are handed into the arms of our mothers. Everything that happens from that point onwards - and also including the original birth trauma - is significant for the development of the so-called 'individual' (who is really an amalgam of significant other 'individuals' with whom we are related from birth onwards, and who we 'internalize' as 'models').  In particular, our mothers and fathers are braided into the very foundations of our personality and character.

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A good counsellor helps clients to overcome those difficulties they cannot manage in their normal ways: "Counselling is a wonderful twentieth-century invention.  We live in a complex, busy, changing world.  In this world, there are many different types of experience that are difficult for people to cope with.  Most of the time we get on with life, but sometimes we are stopped in our tracks by an event or situation that we do not, at that moment, have the resources to sort out".  If we cannot find ways to sort this out in our family, with our friends, or with a priest or doctor, etc., then "Counselling is a really useful option at these moments". 

John McLeod, An Introduction to Counselling, 2003. (50)

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6. The principles of CENT couples therapy

I have reviewed the first six principles of CENT couples therapy, and here is the seventh:

7.  It's OK to want to be loved, admired, accepted and approved of.  But it is most sensible to want to be loved, accepted and so on for practical reasons, such as your companionship, sociability, loving nature, vocational advancement, your "mental accomplishments", and so on; rather than (like a child) for your "self", or for the sake of artificially raising you "self-esteem"!  Do you seek to be loved for practical reasons, or do you insist upon being loved for your "self"?  Only a mother-substitute is likely to love you for your "self", and who wants to be a mother-substitute for you?  Probably no one!  So it's better to grow up and not demand maternal/paternal adoration!  Are you willing to grow up in this area of your emotional life?

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A counsellor cannot promote the road less travelled, unless he or she is on it themselves: "If counselors are to promote growth and change in their clients, they must be willing to promote growth in their own lives by exploring their own choices and decisions and by striving to become aware of the ways in which they have ignored their own potential for growth.  This willingness to attempt to live in accordance with what they teach and thus to be positive models for their clients is what makes counselors ‘therapeutic persons'."

Gerald Corey (2001), Theory and Practice of Counselling and Psychotherapy. Sixth edition. (52)

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That's all for this week.

Best wishes,