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1. Overcoming problems of anxiety If you are feeling anxious or panicky, and want to understand this emotion better, so you can learn to control it, then why not take a look at the following extract from 'Overcoming Fear and Anxiety', a pamphlet (c) Jim Byrne, 2001. Or, if you want to discuss your anxiety with a counsellor, please go to: Long-distance counselling services. 2. Introduction This page is an extract from 'Overcoming Fear and Anxiety', a pamphlet by Dr Jim Byrne. Copyright (c) Jim Byrne, 2010. In this manual, I want to do two things: (1) To present a basic understanding of the Rational-Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) approach to dealing with anxiety; and (2) To provide a set of exercises for you to do so that you can learn how to analyze your problems with anxiety; identify solutions; and implement those solutions so as to eliminate your anxiety. In that way, you can become your own “counsellor”, in the area of anxiety and fear, because you can learn to fix your own emotional and behavioural problems. 3. Distinguishing Anxiety and Concern In Rational-Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT), we distinguish between helpful and unhelpful negative emotions, and show our clients how to get rid of their unhelpful negative emotions. We are not aiming to produce “unemotional” individuals, but rational, calm individuals who have a full range of emotions appropriate to the events in their lives, which help them to focus on their objectives and to come to terms with the facts of their lives. So if you are facing a threat or danger, it’s a good idea to be reasonably concerned about it. Concern will help you to deal with the impending problem. But anxiety will disrupt your thinking and behaviour. (See Footnote at the end of the main text). In this manual I will be contrasting anxiety against concern. Anxiety, as I have just hinted, is an unhelpful negative emotion, while concern is a helpful negative emotion. (a) Anxiety: Anxiety comes in two forms: ego anxiety and discomfort anxiety. If a person feels anxious about being shown up, or put down, then that is called “ego anxiety”, because it’s an over-concern about losing face. On the other hand, if a person feels anxious about impending difficulty, pain, injury or some high degree of effort, that’s called “discomfort anxiety”. Being out late at night, in a strange city, or travelling in a lift, can trigger discomfort anxiety for some individuals; while it would take something like speaking in public, or screwing up at work, to trigger ego anxiety. However, these emotional reactions are not directly caused by the dark, the lift or appearing in public, or any other external event, as we shall see later. Anxiety, of whichever type, is an unhelpful negative emotion, because it involves excessive arousal of that part of the nervous system which controls heart rate and breathing, plus that part which (temporarily) changes our brain chemistry and body chemistry to prepare us for fleeing actions; and these reactions get in the way of clear thinking and constructive action taking. Anxiety is not caused by what happens to you - whether that involves appearing in public, being threatened in some way, or getting to do difficult or uncomfortable tasks. Actually it is more directly caused by an “irrational belief’ (iB) about an impending threat or danger. (I know this will seem counter-intuitive, but please bear with me while I explain the connections). Irrational beliefs (iB’s), as defined in REBT, contain an absolute demand: which will take the form of a “must”, a “should”, a “have to”, “ought to”, “got to” or “need to”. Once we trigger a demanding belief, we then also tend to “awfulize” when what we demand “should not happen” actually happens. Awfulizing involves the use of words like “awful”, “horrible” and “terrible”, “catastrophe” and so on. Once we believe we are in an “awful” situation which “should” not be happening, we “logically” tell ourselves that we “cannot stand” being in this type of situation. Finally, we look for someone to condemn and damn for producing this “intolerable” mess - “is it me?”, “is it you?”, or “is it the way the world works?” (But all of these thoughts are irrational; meaning they are unrealistic, illogical, unscientific, unreasonable and unhelpful!). Let us now introduce concern, before continuing with our consideration of anxiety: (b) Concern: Concern is a helpful negative emotion, because it draws our attention to something which may be about to go wrong, so that we can take appropriate action to avert it, or to defend ourselves against it, or to be willing to accept the unpleasant or painful outcome if we cannot avoid it. Concern, like anxiety, is not caused by what happens to you - whether it is a threat to your ego or a threat of some impending pain or discomfort. Rather it is more directly caused by the holding of a “rational belief (rB)” about an impending threat or danger. Rational beliefs (rB’s), as defined in REBT, involve a core of “preferential thinking”; e.g. “I wish...”, “1 want...”, “I would like...”, “I would prefer to...”, etc. Once you prefer some kind of outcome - such as this: “I hope I don’t get made redundant in my company’s current cutbacks” - then, when this threat seems imminent, you are likely to perceive it as some (smallish) degree of badness, instead of “awful”; to recognize that you can stand it (even though you’d prefer it if you didn’t get to); and to accept yourself, the company and the world despite this regrettable and unfortunate outcome. (All of these are rational attitudes and beliefs: meaning they are reasonable, verifiable, logical and self- helping thoughts). ~~~ If you appreciate the the public educational role of this website, then please donate to defray the cost of development and maintenance:
~~~ 4. The ABC Model In REBT we analyze client’s emotional and behavioural problems using the ABC model, which was developed by Dr Albert Ellis in the 1950s and ‘60s, in New York City. (See Ellis and Harper, 1975, in the References, below). The simple ABC model contains the following elements: A = Activating Event (or stimulus). (Or what happened to you, or is about to happen to you); B = Your belief system about this stimulus (including rational beliefs (rB’s) and irrational beliefs (iB’s)); C = Consequent emotion and/or behaviour. (How you reacted). In the simple model, something like the following could happen: A = You notice that it’s getting near time for you to go on the stage to make an appeal for funds for your favourite charity. B = You tell yourself something like: “I must not be exposed to this threat to my self esteem!” C = You consequently experience strong feelings of anxiety, bordering on panic. However, imagine that you then came to work with me for a while on your problem with anxiety, and I showed you how to change what you’re telling yourself at point B in the ABC model. Then assume that, some time later, another ABC crops up: A = You’re asked to go on stage at your social club to sing a song. B = You tell yourself something like this: “I’d prefer it if I was not exposed to this threatening situation, but it’s not essential to avoid all dangers. It’ll be bad if I screw up, but it won’t be the end of the world!” C = You consequently experience reasonable levels of concern, but not anxiety. And this feeling of concern causes you to nip out to the bathroom to practice recalling the words of the song, and the key in which you intend to sing it, and to have a quick, discreet practise. Then you re-enter the hall, go on the stage, and sing the song. When the ordeal is over you are relieved, but at no time did you experience anxiety or panic! 5. Where Did the Anxiety Go? The only difference between the two public performance scenarios described above is this: what you told yourself, verbally, silently, in your mind; or what you non-verbally signalled to yourself, in your mind.In the first scenario you told yourself irrational, demanding, awfulizing beliefs about the threat of going on the stage; and that caused you to feel anxious. In the second you told yourself rational, preferential beliefs about the same threat; and that caused you to feel only reasonable levels of concern. Emotional and behavioural disturbances are never, repeat never caused by what happens to you, or by what you think is about to happen to you; but rather by what you tell yourself, or signal yourself, (consciously or unconsciously), about what happens to you, or is about to happen to you. That means that you can always learn to manage your emotions and behaviours by learning to manage your inner voices so that you cultivate the rational and eliminate the irrational. (And where did the anxiety go? You stopped creating it when you substituted rational for irrational beliefs!) 6. The B-C Connection How can you convince yourself that your emotional and behavioural reactions are not directly caused by what happens to yourself? By remembering and thinking about this little equation: A x B = C, (or A times B equals C). In fuller form, this means: • A (the noxious Activating Event) x rB (meaning “multiplied by a rational belief’) = Cl (or generates a helpful negative emotion [such as concern]); but: • A (the same noxious event) x iB (meaning “multiplied by an irrational belief’) = C2 (or generates an unhelpful negative emotion [such as anxiety]). So it’s clearly what you tell yourself - or signal yourself, sometimes consciously, but more often unconsciously - at point B in the ABC model - which most directly causes your emotions and subsequent behaviours. (The A [or activating event] plays a stimulus role, but the B [or your beliefs about that stimulus] plays the determining role). Therefore, if you stick doggedly to rational beliefs (rB’s) then you will rarely experience unhelpful negative emotions! (That means sticking to preferences instead of demands; to a realistic assessment of the (smallish!) degree of “badness” of an impending problem; to an acceptance that you will be able to stand the impending problem; and to an unconditional acceptance of yourself, others and the world!) And that, in a nutshell, is how to overcome fear and anxiety. ~~~
~~~ 7. The Elaborated ABC Model So much for the simple ABC model. However, in the real world, the ABC model is a little more complex than that just discussed. Let us turn now to the more complex model. Al: (Activating signal): Some signal (sometimes at a conscious level, but normally at an unconscious level), tells you that there is a potentially threatening event just up ahead. (For example, you are just about to board a long flight, on a stormy night, to a far distant land). A2: (Activating “inference” - which is a guess or a hunch): You conclude (consciously or unconsciously, but most often unconsciously) something like this: “I am being threatened, or will be subject to future threat”, or “I am in imminent danger”; or “I am facing an unacceptable or unbearable discomfort”. B1: (Rational belief (rB)): You are then prone to tell yourself (or signal yourself - normally unconsciously), something like this: “I would prefer it if this threat did not exist, but it is not essential that it go away. It’s bad that this threat is hanging over me, but it’s hardly the end of the world!”If you would just stick to that set of rational beliefs (rB’s) then you would get: C1: Concern, which is a reasonable level of upset - being a healthy negative emotion. Concern would have the following effects on your thinking (according to Dryden, 1996): (i) Effect of concern on thinking • You would tend to view the threat, danger or discomfort realistically; • Your assessment of your ability to cope with the problem would be realistic; and: • You would tend to think fairly clearly about how to deal effectively with the impending problem. When you make yourself concerned, by engaging in rational thinking, you also have a particular effect on your tendencies to act or behave; as follows: (ii) Action tendencies (when concerned) • You tend to face up to the threat, danger or discomfort; and: • You tend to tackle the threat or danger constructively. So you can see that concern is a helpful type of negative emotion, because it tends to have effects on your thinking and behaviour which are likely to help you to take steps to avoid or deal with the potential threat. (However, because it is still a negative emotion, you do feel some degree of upsetness; but this upsetness is significantly less pronounced than the upsetness of anxiety, and it is thus easier to cope with. That’s why we call concern a “reasonable upset”). So if you would just stick to your rational beliefs (rB’s) about the potential threats in your life, you would be able to cope with them, and your feelings about them, quite effectively. However, normally, for most individuals who do not practice REBT, once your inferences about perceived or assumed threats or dangers trigger rational beliefs (rB’s) in you, (at conscious or unconscious levels), you unfortunately then have a tendency to flip over into irrational beliefs (iB’s); as follows: B2: (Irrational beliefs (iB’s)): For example: “Because I would prefer it if this threat did not affect me, therefore I must avoid being harmed or placed in danger at all cost. I must, I must, I must avoid it. And it would be awful if harm or danger threatened me...” This irrational belief (iB) then has the effect of triggering a new emotional state, as follows: C2: Anxiety, which is an overly-upset emotional state; a seriously disturbed feeling state; and an unpleasant state of overly-aroused cardiovascular activity, which is likely to have the following effect on your thinking (according to Dryden, 1996): (i) Effect of anxiety on thinking • You tend to exaggerate the negative aspects of the threat, danger or discomfort; • You tend to minimize your ability to cope with the problem; • You tend to exaggerate the negativity of the potential outcome; and: • You have more thoughts which are (a) irrelevant to the task in hand, and (b) decidedly unhelpful to you, than you did in the case of concern, described above. When you cause yourself to feel anxious, by indulging in irrational beliefs (iB’s) about the inference - which is a guess or a hunch - that you are facing threats or dangers, you also tend to have negative effects on your behaviours or action tendencies, as follows: (ii) Action tendencies when anxious • You normally tend to withdraw physically from the threat, danger or discomfort; except when you “freeze”; and/or: • You try to withdraw mentally; • You may try to magically escape the threat or danger by superstitious or compulsive behaviours; • You may try to tranquillize your feelings, for example, with alcohol or other drugs; or: • You may seek reassurance or protection. Thus it is obvious from the effects on your thinking and behaviour that anxiety is an unhelpful negative emotion because it interferes with your capacity to deal realistically with the threat, danger or discomfort. Therefore, it makes sense to get rid of your anxiety and to replace it with reasonable levels of concern. (We would never suggest that you be deliriously happy when you are facing a potential threat or danger!) But how do you get rid of your anxiety? Since it is caused mainly by your irrational beliefs, rather than the activating stimulus - the ‘A’ - you can get rid of it by disputing your irrational beliefs (IB’s), and then discarding those unhelpful beliefs. Thereafter, even though you face the same activating stimulus, (e.g. the same threat), you will only feel reasonably concerned about it, and be able to take some kind of coping actions. Reminder: In REBT, “rational” and “irrational” have specialized meanings; as does the concept of “belief”. Most importantly, “beliefs” in the REBT terminology means “attitudes”, which can be verbal or non-verbal. In particular, “irrational beliefs” (iB’s) are defined as (i) Demandingness, including absolute “musts”; (ii) Awfulizing, or whining about the “total badness” of an impending threat or danger; (iii) Low frustration tolerance, which involves telling yourself you “can’t stand” this “awful possibility”; and: (iv) Condemning and damning of yourself, others or the world.
ABC Coaching and Counselling Services Long-distance counselling services. ~~~ If you want me to help you with your problems of social anxiety, performance anxiety, panic, etc., then call me today on 01422 843 629 (from inside the UK) 44 1422 843 629 (from outside the UK) ~~~ Back to Anxiety Counselling page ~~~ ~~~
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