A philosophy based on irrational beliefs - like demandingness and awfulizing - is not going
to be effective as a way to live a good life. To lead a good life, we need to be able to moderate our emotions, to avoid
dysfunctional behaviours, and this calls for a set of rational beliefs - such as desiring our reasonable goals, and not
exaggerating the degree of badness of the adversities we face. An effective new philosophy must be able to cope with
the whole range of emotions. However, in the example that follows, I will focus exclusively on anxiety, for the sake
of simplicity. (This extract comes from my ebook, 'Overcoming Fear and Anxiety'):
An Effective New Philosophy
Point E in the ABC(DE) model stands for “Effective new philosophy”.
An effective new philosophy, in REBT, begins as a conscious set of rational beliefs (rB’s), which will ensure that,
when you feel threatened or in danger, you will feel reasonable levels of concern, and be able to take appropriate
action. But you will rarely be able to make yourself feel anxious or panicked, and thus you will be able to think straight
and take appropriate action. The aim, over the longer term, is to review your effective new philosophy so often, from so many
different angles, and in so many different ways, that it becomes part of your unconscious emotional wiring: which means part
of your “nervous system".
A suitable
effective new philosophy for counteracting anxiety would be the following:
I’d prefer it if I did not get to deal with
... (whatever your threat or danger happens to be); but it’s not essential to avoid that.
It’s about X% bad that this might happen. (The small percentage is found by consulting
how far up the “reference scale” of physical injuries you would be willing to go to get rid f the threat! The
“reference scale” can be consulted when you reach Task 4 in the Homework Assignments).
I certainly would be able to stand having a threat or danger which is (X% bad).
And it wouldn‘t make me a bad (or inadequate, or weak, or powerless)
person that I get to face this threat or danger.
Another alternative would be:
It wouldn‘t
be awful, terrible or horrible if I got to live with (whatever the potential threat or danger or discomfort is). It wouldn’t
be awful, terrible or horrible.
I certainly would be able to stand dealing with this situation.
After all: where is it written on a tablet of God-given stone, as a Law of the Universe, that I should never
get to live with (this type of threat)?
And, it doesn‘t make me a (weak, vulnerable, cowardly, or
whatever) person that I feel challenged by this potential threat. And it doesn‘t make the world a (rotten, evil, “unbearable
“, or whatever) place.
If you rewrite either of these two effective new philosophies, to suit your own circumstances, and then repeat it over
and over again, thousands of time, day after day, week after week, month after month, and - yes! - year after year, you will
quickly and sustainably become saner, calmer and more able to deal with the threats and dangers that life throws at you -
for all the years of your life. However, as well as training yourself in this type of effective new philosophy, it is also
important to use the processes of disputing irrational beliefs (iB’s) with questions, (which we discussed
earlier), and to force yourself to behave differently than you feel.
Back to 'What is REBT?' page.
ABC Coaching and Counselling Services
~~~