Eliminate Depression Now: A One Page Counselling Solution for Eliminating Depression, by Dr Jim Byrne

"Grief in appropriate depression about a significant loss or failure; while depression is inappropriate grief about some loss or failure.  And the inappropriate quality comes out of our unrealistic demands and our tendency to catastrophize".  Dr Jim Byrne

I assume you are feeling depressed, and that is why you have come to this one page solution.  Therefore, I want you to know that I feel for you; I am sorry that you are feeling so miserable. My job here is to present you with a brief, effective solution.  That solution is presented in the page that follows, plus the appended 7 minute video clip on Eliminating Depression.

The first thing we need to do is to check how depressed you are at the moment, so you can monitor your progress as you learn how to eliminate your negative feelings.  On a scale from 1 to 10, where 1 is happy and ten is as depressed as you could be, just how depressed do you feel at the moment?  Please write that down for later reference.

Firstly, you need to know that depression is often caused by experiences of loss and failure; real or symbolic.  But everybody who loses something (like a job) or fails (as in failing in love) does not become depressed.

What is the difference between those who become depressed and those who only become reasonably sad and/or disappointed?

The main difference is that those who become depressed when they lose or fail (actually or symbolically) tend to share a set of unrealistic beliefs, including:

1(a). They tend to tell themselves that "it's awful (or totally bad) that I have failed in this way (or lost this significant thing)".  Therefore it feels like the end of the world to them (even though it definitely is not!)

2(a). They tend to believe that they should not have failed (or lost this thing), as opposed to merely preferring not to fail or lose in life.

3(a). They tend to put themselves down for failing - "what a worm or louse I am" - or they damn the world for being a rotten place, and conclude that their life is hopeless, and that they are helpless.

4(a). They tend to repeat that "I cannot stand this kind of loss (or failure)" - even though they clearly are standing it.  But by repeating that they cannot stand it, they make themselves feel weak and miserable, helpless to change their circumstances, or to cope with what cannot be changed.

Items 1 to 4 above are clearly unrealistic assessments of the individual's situation, because:

1(b). Nothing is really awful, up to, but not including, death.  Awful means more than bad, badder than bad, and badder than it should be, which almost nothing ever is.  No matter what you lose, or no matter in what ways you fail, it could always be very much worse.  So stop "awfulizing" and "catastrophizing" about your inevitable hassles.  It isn't awful - it's Tough Stuff!

2(b). There is no law of the universe which says you absolutely should not lose anything; or fail in any way; is there?  Of course not.  So stop demanding that you should not have lost something, or failed in some way.

3(b). Even if you failed totally in some respect, that does not make you a fail-ure.  You are a fallible person who sometimes succeeds and sometimes fails; just like me, and every other human.  So you'd better stop calling yourself a failure or a loser.  You are a fallible, error-prone human who is bound to fail and lose some (but not all) of the time.  And life is far from hopeless.  You can probably think of a few new things you could try following on from your loss or failure.  And you are not helpless (you can research the options available to you, and decide what remedial action to take).

4(b). You can stand anything, up to, but not including, your own death.  And you won't have to stand your own death, because you will no longer be here.  So you'd better stop telling yourself you cannot stand failing or losing.  You can, and you do, and you will.  Tell yourself this instead: I can stand this trial; this difficulty; and this too will pass!

Review the new ideas in paragraphs 1(b)-4(b) above three times in a period of one hour.

Then ask yourself: On a scale from 1 to 10, where 1 is happy and ten is as depressed as you could be, just how depressed do you feel now?  Can you see that your thinking affects your feelings?

VIDEO CLIP

Here is the link to a brief, seven minute video clip on Eliminating Depression, using REBT.   Click the link that follows, and your default Media Player should open.  It may take a couple or three minutes for the video to download, so patience may be required.  If you have any problem opening the video clip, check with your IT support person, or email jim.byrne@abc-counselling.com and explain the problem.

Here's the link, next: