Understanding Anger in Yourself and Other People: What the experts
say.
By Dr Jim Byrne
CENT Paper No.11
Copyright © Jim Byrne, May 2011
Abstract
The
author reviewed the most available literature on anger and aggression from cognitive and social psychology, zoology, and philosophy:
and especially from Stoicism, Buddhism, Rational Emotive and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, Freudianism, Attachment theory,
the Human Givens approach, assertiveness training, and a small element of Transactional Analysis, the neurobiological perspective,
his own Cognitive Emotive Narrative Therapy, and some generic anger management perspectives.
Key words: aggression (innate and socially shaped), anger (constructive and destructive), assertiveness
training, assertion, attachment theory, beliefs (rational and irrational), behaviour, buddhism, cbt, cognition, emotion, emotional
literacy, fight or flight, healthy anger, human needs, passion, rage, rebt, response, stimulus, stoicism, unhealthy anger,
zen
Introduction
In this paper I will review a significant range of books (and a few papers
and articles) on the subject of anger, aggression and assertiveness. These sources represent the literature of the subject
which I have been able to identify, read and digest. I hope the reader will agree that I have presented a good cross
section of the literature on the psychology, science and philosophy of anger and aggression, and a range of strategies for
managing and controlling inappropriate, aggressive expressions of anger and rage. Plus some insights into how to promote
healthy, assertive forms of anger expression.
Beginning to define anger
"Acute,
explosive anger is potentially harmful because it generates destructive behaviours and alienates other people. Less
intense but more sustained anger is also self-defeating because it drains our energy, impairs our relationships, makes us
unhappy and can adversely affect our health". Dr Sarah Edelman (2006)[1].
According to my English dictionary, ‘anger' means: "A strong feeling of extreme displeasure".[2] And Fisher (2005) says that "Anger is a feeling - nothing more and nothing less. It is no more inherently
‘good' or ‘bad' than any other feeling"[3]. Darwin saw anger as related to dislike and/or hatred of another:
"If we have suffered or expect to suffer some
wilful injury from a man, or if he is in any way offensive to us, we dislike him; and dislike easily rises into hatred. Such
feelings, if experienced in a moderate degree, are not clearly expressed by any movement of the body or features, excepting
perhaps by a certain gravity of behaviour, or by some ill-temper. Few individuals, however, can long reflect about a hated
person, without feeling and exhibiting signs of indignation or rage"[4].
Anger has been widely agreed to be universal, natural and innate, since Darwin's book was published in 1898; but it
is also culturally shaped[5]. It is most often, in its healthy form, an expression of frustration at goal blockage, seen in infants from the early
months of life[6]. Infants can identify anger from about the age of ten weeks old; and they become capable of expressing anger in the
first year of life, potentially to the detriment of their relationships with parents[7].
Anger is also, as implied by Darwin above, often seen as a strong negative emotion against someone; a response to
insult, injury, mistreatment, opposition, frustration, or other threats to one's goals or one's self esteem.
Anger can
be expressed openly as verbal or physical aggression, rage, or hostility; or in a passive form, such as sulking, or trying
indirectly to hurt the person or thing that is perceived as the attacker - often referred to as a passive-aggressive response[8]. But it can also be expressed appropriately, assertively, constructively.
Some theorists believe anger is always
wrong: an expression of the negative aspects of a human ego. However, since anger can be found throughout the animal
kingdom, it seems not to be solely about ego so much as a perceived threat to surviving or thriving (cf: Darwin, 1898; and
Lorenz, 1966). Of course, in the case of humans, the question of ego does arise: we want to look good, in our own eyes,
and the eyes of others. Therefore, anybody who threatens our self concept, or ego image, is perceived as threatening
our interests. Any threat to what a person considers to be their ‘personal domain' is likely to produce some degree
of hostile response.
Some theorists consider that anger can be either constructive or destructive[9]; and this is especially so in the case of counselling and therapy systems, and assertiveness training. For example,
behaviour modification therapy teaches self assertion to its clients, so they can use their innate aggression to defend their
personal space, while at the same time, respecting the personal space of those individuals with whom they communicate, including
those with whom they assertively communicate. Gestalt therapists also consider that innate aggression is important,
for example in ‘chewing through' our interpersonal experiences.
Of course, when people use anger and aggression
inappropriately, they hurt others, or offend them, and cause a backlash that often works to the detriment of the angry individual.
Or the angry person may not be punished by the other for their aggressive words or deeds, but a little while later the angry
person calms down, and now feels guilty, ashamed and stupid because of the things they said or did in the heat of rageful
reaction.
Furthermore, immediately after a person makes him/herself angry at, and communicates that anger to, another
person, the angry person may flip into anxiety or fear, in anticipation of a backlash from the victim of their angry outburst.
Apart
from inducing guilt, shame and fear, inappropriate anger can result in broken relationships, lost jobs, lost friends, arrest
for actual bodily harm, legal prosecution, fines, imprisonment, community service, stomach ulcers (as we stew in our own angry
juices), damage to our heart and arteries, poor relations with our neighbours, loss of peace of mind (as our mind spins in
hot rage and dreams of revenge), loss of happiness, loss of social status (as we show up more and more like a petulant child,
or a bully!), loss of face, loss of self respect and respect from others.
~~~
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this paper, please go to the Download Link below.
[1] Edelman, S. (2006) Change Your Thinking: overcome stress, combat anxiety and improve your life with CBT.
London: Vermillion.
[2] Soanes, C. (2002) Paperback Oxford English Dictionary. New York: Oxford University Press.
[3] Fisher, M. (2005) Beating Anger: The eight-point plan for coping with rage. London: Rider.
[4] Darwin, C. (1898) The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals. New York: D. Appleton and Company.
Page 237. Online at: Electronic Text Center, University of Virginia Library. Url: http://etext.virginia.edu/toc/modeng/public/DarExpr.html. Accessed: 19th April 2011.
[5] Potegal, M. and Novoco, R.W. (2010) A brief history of anger. In: Potegal, N., Stemmler, G. and Spielberger, C. (eds) (2010)
International Handbook of Anger: Constituent and concomitant Biological, Psychological and Social processes. New
York: Springer.
[6] Lewis, M. (2010) The development of anger. In: Potegal, N., Stemmler, G. and Spielberger, C. (eds) (2010) International
Handbook of Anger: Constituent and concomitant Biological, Psychological and Social processes. New York: Springer.
[7] Potegal, M. and Stemmler, G. (2010) Cross-disciplinary view of anger: consensus and controversy. In: Potegal, N., Stemmler,
G. and Spielberger, C. (eds) (2010) International Handbook of Anger: Constituent and concomitant Biological, Psychological
and Social processes. New York: Springer.
[8] Fisher (2005), pages 24-28.
[9] Griffin, J. and Tyrrell, I. (2004) Human Givens: A new approach to emotional health and clear thinking. Chalvington,
East Sussex: HG Publishing. And Fisher (2005), page 32.
~~~
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